517号练琴室墙壁上摸上去凹凸不平的痕迹大多来源于音乐演奏家烦闷时随手乱扔的经典音乐书籍造成的。位于堪萨斯州劳伦斯市国际音乐学院内的这间没有窗户的隔间就是我这3个月以来为了筹备钢琴表演而选择的秘密地点。这架斯坦威三角钢琴（图解）在一次音乐会乐器演奏中出现了音准问题而被搁置在这里，作为练琴房的主要“成员之一”。我坐在摇摇晃晃的凳子前，准备开始演奏。
第一首热身曲目是肖邦的《第一叙事曲》，这是一曲明亮轻快的乐调，我的指尖在布满灰尘的键盘上跳动。肖邦的音乐我已经演绎的相当熟练了，个人情感犹如一块明镜一样映照着我的创作灵感并激发着我的音乐天赋。全曲以单音符乐调和一种鲜明的叙述手法开场，而我，采用的是类似于波动琵琶琴弦和弹奏电吉他的方式演奏。回味这段细腻的开场，我带着在科学实验室里的那种好奇心与激情来演奏。叙事曲的尾声可以说是全曲的画龙点睛之处，它概括了作品的精神实质。狂风暴雨般的激情，象征着英雄精神鼓舞下掀起的民族风暴。音乐由迫不及待的推进发展为一倾而泻的冲击；最后在斩钉截铁的八度三连音中导向结束。当史诗般的基调随着音乐结束后，留给我的却是无限的遐想。
一曲终结，早已汗流满面。接着我开始演奏巴赫的D小调协奏曲。作为学习钢琴演奏的初级学生，我讨厌巴赫那令人窒息的音乐旋律。如果可以无视节律的限制以及父母的训诫，5岁那时的我一定追随内心的节拍演奏。不过最近，我开始欣赏巴洛克音乐，这种具有严格时间律动性的音乐（巴洛克音乐每分钟约60拍，与人类的脉搏与呼吸频率大致相同，使我们的脉搏和呼吸在这一节拍上趋于中和与稳定）可以培养一个人对音乐的艺术感。意识到这一点，我的音乐世界更加丰富了：我认识到它和我的性格很和谐：我本人对喜好的事情总是充满激情，而在创作方面喜欢随心所欲并配以丰富大胆的想象。这在现代主流社会里就是一块利基。
不知不觉，一头整齐的马尾早已凌乱不堪。贝多芬钢琴奏鸣曲作品109又浮现在我的意识里。曾经有一位教授评价我对贝多芬钢琴曲的演奏过于轻快了，“贝多芬写这首曲子的时候一边将耳朵靠近地面一边演奏，直到完全听不到音乐里的震动声方止，而你却用击键及弹跳式的方式演奏，实在是对这首曲子的侮辱。”现在，我稳稳的按着每一个键盘，希望云杉木制作的音板能够再次演绎出贝多芬那充满哀怨的曲调。G大调碰击琴弦发出的那种深沉的哀鸣的音调是音乐之外的世界所无法实现的。很长一段时间以来，对一首曲子的理解胜过人类情感的表达。
平静平静。。。。。。
我从钢琴凳上起身，小脚趾不小心撞到了一沓发霉的音乐教材上。一眼瞥见517室“满身是汗”的跳线和肮脏的地毯，我并没有在意我的表演装束与整个音乐会舞台以及曾经梦想过首次登上卡耐基音乐厅的钢琴家的有多么的不协调。这两个小时的练习没有观众也没有掌声。这只是在乐符里展现的一次从音乐到人性的演绎。
释义
1.肖邦第一叙事曲（Chopin’s First Ballade），g小调，作品23号是他四首叙事曲中的第一首，也是音乐中第一首采用这个曲名的器乐作品。该作品表现了肖邦强烈的爱国主义思想，结构庞大，技术艰难，内容深刻，是一出悲壮的戏剧，一篇激动人心的史诗。豪迈的英雄气概、悲剧性的形象和爱国主义的热情反映了萧邦在华沙起义影响下的思想情绪。
2.利基（niche）（商业用语）是指针对企业的优势细分出来的市场，这个市场不大，而且没有得到令人满意的服务。产品推进这个市场，有盈利的基础。
3.童子军（Eagle Scout）最早形成于1907年的英国，至今已有近百年的历史。它的目的是通过各种实践活动和技能训练在身体、精神、智力上培训青少年，帮助他们增长知识、掌握技能、完善自我、家庭以及所在的社区，使之成为有责任感、能自立的公民，将来对社会做贡献。童子军的基本划分单位是“troop”（部），年龄范围是11到18岁，等级从低到高依次为Tenderfoot Scout（初级军）、Second Class Scout（二等军） 、First Class Scout（一等军） 、Star Scout（星军） 、Life Scout （生命军）和Eagle Scout（鹰军）。加入童子军后，成员们通过完成每一阶段的技能要求而得到晋级，鹰军是最高荣誉，是每个童子军向往的目标。但是要完成鹰军的技能学习和要求需要十分的热忱投入与努力，在美国，有25%的少年加入了童子军，而他们当中仅仅只有4%最后成为鹰军。有因为各种原因中途放弃了的，有没能达到鹰军的要求而停留在Life Scout阶段的，所以坚持到最后的的确是真正的男子汉。
ESSAY赏析
这篇ESSAY的优秀就在于作者不是写自己在音乐方面天赋的一面以及所获得的成就，而仅仅是围绕作者本身去写。作者是想通过这篇ESSAY写出与音乐的关系。她肩负重任，要在纸上描写自己演奏钢琴的经历并巧妙的做到了。其简洁的措辞，墙壁石灰脱落的痕迹以及小脚趾，谨慎细致的描绘出了一幅图画。
作者巧妙的使用了一些音乐术语尽可能通俗的表达自己想要表达的意思，让即使不懂音乐的人也能理解作者的意思，这是作者的高明之处。针对作者写斯坦威钢琴时，使用的“protest”词语，让读者可以了解作者独特的一面。
ESSAY写作面面俱到是没有必要的。而作者想要传达给我们的意思是对于一个领域的兴趣与热爱。但是文章也有其不足之处。看完这篇ESSAY会给人一种感觉，类似于“雄鹰童子军奖”的获得者一样，作者充满激情的表达了自己对音乐各种熟练的技巧、技能以及热爱，但是，却忽略了最本质的东西：人物性格。而本身这篇文章就像一篇精美的散文。很多吸引人的人物性格是夸大塑造的，而有些仅仅通过简单干净的写作风格就跃然纸上的。
无论如何，这篇ESSAY都堪称完美。作者是一个音乐天才，一个对音乐充满狂热的人，这一点再清楚不过了。
—Sarah Howland
(14)MONICA LIU—“THE SPACE BETWEEN THE NOTES”
The stucco walls of Practice Room 517 boasteddentsinflicted by frustrated musicians flinging hefty volumes of classical music. This windowless cubicle had been my musical home for the past three weeks as I undertook intensive piano performance training at the International Institute for Young Musicians in Lawrence, Kansas. A Steinway grand piano held its lid open, protesting its recent demotion from concert instrument to practice room workhorse. Carefully positioning myself on the wobbly piano bench, I began to play.
I warmed up by coaxing the lilting theme of Chopin’s First Ballade out of the grimy keyboard. The music of Chopin had always come to me naturally, for the composer’s raw sentiment mirrored the creative intuition that invigorated my intellectual existence. The single-note opening of the Ballade was a silhouette of a narrative that sharpened as I embellished its form with floating arpeggios and cascading runs. Relishing the subtlety of the musical entrance, I unraveled this melodious mystery with the same inquisitive enthusiasm I often employed to probe scientific challenges in the laboratory. The coda was a torrent of octaves, a deluge of unapologetic passion that sparkled with spontaneity. As the tone poem evaporated in a mist of musical color, the elation of discovery lingered within me.
Impatiently dashing a droplet of sweat from my chin, I launched into Bach’s D minor Concerto. As an elementary piano student, I had detested the suffocating discipline of Bach’s music. Disregarding all metronomic restraints and parental admonitions, my five-year-old self had followed the beat of my personal impulses. Recently, though, I had begun to appreciate the mechanical vitality of Baroque music, marveling that the conformity of strict time signatures could nurture musical artistry. This realization has extended beyond my musical world: I now recognize that my effervescent personality, creative inclinations, and daring aspirations do have a niche in mainstream society.
As my thick hair escaped the restraints of my ponytail, the introductory phrase of Beethoven’s Sonata Opus 109 enveloped my senses. A professor once commented that my interpretation of Beethoven’s music was a bit too jovial: “Beethoven wrote this piece with his ear pressed to the ground to feel the vibrations from sounds he could no longer hear. Devastation cannot be conveyed with a skip and a bounce.” Now, I sunk the weight of my torso into the keys, willing the spruce soundboard to resound with Beethoven’s melancholy lament. The G# hammer hit the steel string with a depth of emotional ruin I had yet to encounter outside the musical world. For a moment, the universality of musical understanding transcended the enigma of human emotion.
And then, peace.
As I rose from the keyboard, my little toe rammed into a pile of musty technique books. Glancing down at my sweaty jumper and the dirty carpet of Room 517, I did not mind that my “performance attire” and “concert stage” were ill matched with the Carnegie Hall debut pianists often envisioned. This two-hour practice session required neither audience nor applause. It was simply a musical foray into raw humanity that thrived in the space between the notes.
COMMENTARY
This essay is all about the applicant, in the best way possible: Rather than badgering the reader with tales of her musical accomplishments,she uses this essay to demonstrate her relationship with music. She takes on a difficult task—describing the auditory experience of playing the piano in silent text—and achieves it masterfully. Her often succinct phrasing, combined with references to peeling stucco and a stubbed toe, creates a piece that shows intellectual rigor.
The writer sets a mood of musical expertise by using a lot of specific terminology, and then mixes in a healthy dose of more accessible description so that even the most tone-deaf reader can understand. Unusual images, like the “protesting” grand piano, give the reader insight into the applicant’s unique perspective.
Yet, writing an essay that is entirely about a very specific interest is not always a sound idea. Ideally, such an essay conveys your enthusiasm for learning and ability to devote intellectual energy to a specific area of interest. There is no guarantee that the admissions officer reading your essay shares your abiding passion for being an Eagle Scout, and even the most beautifully worded essay won’t convince her that knowing how to tie a square knot makes you college material. The content of your essay should convince readers of your unique personality, not merely showcase a particular skill. The content is just as—if not more—important as pretty prose. It is essential to reveal a compelling personality beneath an interest that many can boast of, and a clean writing style that many can assume.
Nevertheless, this is a well-written essay that clearly demonstrates the writer’s intimate understanding of and undeniable passion for music—she is a talent, and her content makes it only too clear.
—Sarah Howland
