瞩目时刻待演奏———
当我泰然自若地在一块草地上站立时，我意识到所有人的注意力都集中在舞台上的某一个点。这些乐手不在意观众席上喋喋不休的喧闹声，不在意夜晚围绕在身边的冷空气和白色灯光映射在草地上的强烈刺眼，他们在意的仅仅是我手中的指挥棒，何时开始演奏；等待的仅仅是我手腕弯曲那个简单的动作。指尖竟感到有一丝刺痛，我抬起手做将要演奏的准备。所有演奏者在这块草地上屏住呼吸，随着我的手熟练地朝向那个点，不同的乐器发出悠扬的音乐，演奏开始了。
这段经历发生在普利茅斯高中我担任乐队指挥时，每周五晚上，我们都会为足球迷做表演。当我作为乐队指挥和高级打击乐专业的学生，也参与其中演奏时，从未如此强烈地感受到我是整个演奏会如此重要的一部分。我能感受到每一个乐器发出的音符和韵律，甚至在我的指挥下能让那些乐器发出更多的音符。我和乐手之间对演奏的热情互相感染，而这些热情不仅仅来自于音乐，还来自于“眼睛”。我的眼睛会全场扫视，发现问题，带给大家信心并且我们必须用热情互相回应，这应该是世界上最伟大的感受了。随着我的动作越来越大，左手向前伸展，这个动作是要求增加乐器发出的分贝。
伴随着乐队演奏的声音不断加大，我的指尖竟有一丝刺痛，并迅速向周身蔓延。我的肩膀开始疼痛，但依然保持着有节奏的活动；我的情绪也到达了顶点，这时铜管乐器出现了，乐队的演奏也预示着临近尾声；打击乐器最后发出有力的敲击，演奏人员和乐队指挥在这一刻也达到了高度的融合。此时我的拳头收起，音乐停止，演奏会庄严地结束了。但这些双眼睛依然在注视着我，乐器停在原地，直到被尘封内心的情绪得以释放，我的脸上浮现笑容，表情轻松。
演奏结束，掌声四起！
分析
申请者在这篇文章中描述了其一项重要的课外活动，顺理成章地应该描述为何参加学生管理，得以走向更大的舞台，但是这种情况看，这篇ESSAY恰好是申请者进一步描述自己这个独特兴趣的绝佳机会。
“One Hundred Pairs of Eyes”描述了作者在高中足球乐队担任乐队指挥的经历———从字面上看，如果忽略职位职责的话，这个职位无足重轻。通过作者描述乐队在球赛中场表演的经历，以及指挥上百人的演奏来看，读者会对这个乐队掌舵人另眼相看———这是一个几乎没有人能真正理解的职位。
作者在ESSAY开始用到了丰富的描述———她是舞台的中央，是所有乐手注视的焦点。通过将这些眼睛人格化，作者描绘了演奏会是壮观的场面。读者也能感知到她在舞台上必须站立的位置，以及需要她指挥的庞大的团队。但也给读者留下了疑问，什么样棘手的场合才使得出现这样的情节。就像作者在这篇ESSAY中营造的紧张气氛一样，读者在作者宣布她是普利茅斯高中乐队指挥之前，也是捏了一把冷汗。在继续写下去，作者将其作为乐队指挥的经历与乐手的经历做了鲜明对比———明亮的灯光洒落在身上，百余乐手为和谐韵律和节拍，全体注视带来的愉悦感。在第三段，作者用描述性的语言鼓励读者继续读下去，直到演奏尾声和这篇ESSAY的结尾处，这个段落结尾之处给人印象深刻的轻松之感，包括乐队成员和读者。
英文原版ESSAY赏析
ESSAY21: “One Hundred Pairs of Eyes”（一百双眼睛）
by Patricia M. Glynn
Awareness.
An awareness that all eyes from one hundred yards of green grass are focused on a certain point in space is what drives through my thoughts as I stand poised. These eyes disregard the peripheral chatter of spectators, the cold wind whistling in the night air around them, and the harshness of the white lights over the field. They focus only on this one spot before my hands and, to begin their show, they wait for a simple motion, a mere flick of the wrist. As a tingling sensation arises in my fingertips, I lift my hands in preparation. One hundred pairs of eyes breathe in unison across the hundred yards, and my hands descend in a practiced pattern toward that one point in space. It is that point where the hundred pairs of eyes release their breath into their various instruments, where the music is created, and where the show begins.
This experience is one that I get to relive every Friday night while conducting the Plymouth High School marching band in its weekly half-time performance for the football fans. While I have performed as one of the pairs of eyes, as conductor and Senior Drum major I feel a greater part of the show than I ever did before. I feel every note and every phrase of music from every instrument, and I pull even more music from those instruments. Their intensity is sparked from my intensity, and mine builds on theirs. The intensity is not only from the music; it comes from the eyes. It’s my eyes scanning the field, scouting for problems, and brokering confidence that command an intensity in response. This is the greatest feeling in the world. As my motions become larger and larger and my left hand pushes upward, I demand volume from the band while it crescendos toward its final notes. Building volume and drive, this music sends a tingling sensation from my fingertips through my wrists and pulsing through my body. My shoulders ache but keep driving the beat, and my emotions are keyed up. As the brass builds and the band snaps to attention in the last picture of the show, the percussion line pushes the music with a driving hit. Musicians and conductor alike climax with the music until reaching that same instant in time. With a rigorous closing of my fists, the music stops, but the eyes hold their focus, instruments poised, until a smile stretches across my face and my features relax, tingling with pent up emotion.
Applause.
ANALYSIS
An essay that asks for discussion of an important extracurricular activity may be just the place for an applicant to discuss in greater detail why participating in student government makes his or her world go’ round. But as in this case, the essay may also offer an opportunity for an applicant to further describe a unique or unconventional interest.
“One Hundred Pairs of Eyes” details the author’s experiences as conductor of her high school football band – a position that on paper may not carry much weight, despite its many responsibilities. Through her description of leading one hundred musicians in the complexities of a half-time show, the reader gains unique insight into being at the helm of a marching band – a position from which few people have observed the perspective.
The author begins her essays with rich description –she is the point of focus for one hundred sets of eyes. By personifying the eyes, the author paints a marvelous picture of the scene. The reader can almost sense the position from which she must be standing and the enormity of the group at her feet. But he or she is left to wonder what sort of awkward situation may be causing this unique scenario. Just as the author creates an intense sensation of tension in the essay, the reader too holds his or her breath in advance of the announcement that Glynn is the leader of a marching band. As she continues, the author contrasts her experiences as conductor with those of being a performer, shedding light on the exhilaration of holding the gaze of the hundred musicians who look to her for rhythm and tempo. And with descriptive language in the third paragraph, the author encourages the reader to push onward, toward the finale of both the music and the essay. The passage ends with an impressive sense of relief both for the band members and the reader.
注：ESSAY出自哈佛大学50篇成功ESSAY之第一版
